We are forever asking ourselves, “What’s next?” You get later in high school and focus on college. As college graduation closes in, you start looking at careers and job opportunities. You get a job, you are SO EXCITED, but that excitement starts to wane as you realize this isn’t what you thought adulthood would be like. This isn’t exactly the life you had envisioned for yourself.
Because in reality, no one is talking about or preparing us to focus on what will make us fulfilled and happy. We usually do what we are supposed to do: get a nice, cozy, corporate job and be HAPPY. On top of it, we are still figuring out who we are, what we want, what drives us, separating our identities from those of our parents and families. We are finally out in the world, but the world seems different.
These feelings are normal.
But with the rampant use of social media, and images of these perfect, curated lives everywhere, its easy to feel like THEY (whoever they are) have something better, that we don’t stack up.
This can lead to frantic searching of who we are, how do we fit in, and even depression.
What exactly is a Quarter-Life Crises?
Its a period of uncertainty, stress and soul-searching people in their 20’s to 30’s experience as they embark on making their way into adulthood, life, love and career.
I found myself struggling with this when I first entered college: everyone seemed to have it altogether, their lives totally figured out. But not me. I felt unsure of what I was doing or even what I wanted to be doing. How can we know when there is so much left to experience.
But guess what? No one actually has their life 100% together. Not now, and really, not ever. Life is full of evolution.
Quarter-Life Crisis Symptoms
Here are just a few signs that you may be going through a quarter-life crisis:
- You lack direction in your career, relationships or overall life purpose.
- You have difficulties making decisions.
- You are struggling to figure out what’s missing.
- You lack motivation.
- You struggle with fatigue, stress, anxiety or depression.
- You sense the tension between pursuing your dreams and settling down.
- You worry that your peers have everything figured out.
- You fear getting left behind.
How to move beyond the quarter life crisis?
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – – Theodore Roosevelt
With the rise of social media, it’s easy to feel less-than, with self-deprecating thoughts filling your brain and say “That person is already accomplishing so much, am I behind?” But you aren’t. You are right where you are supposed to be. The first step is to settle into today. Get comfortable with the unknown. Get comfortable with the discomfort of where you are. You are primed for growth and growth creates tension which can be uncomfortable. Life is meant to be explored. We don’t have to have it all figured out right this moment. So just settle in.
Second, spend some time thinking about what you love, what motivates and moves you, what the vision for your life is? When you know what you expect, hope, and dream of for the future, you can create a path to get there. But this also often brings into focus the great things already going on in your life. It is easy to collapse into the negativity, especially when you are spending too much time on Instagram
Third, don’t be afraid to ask for help! Admitting that you need guidance is 100% worth it and can bring you so much value. We all need help. We all need mentors. We all need wise, experienced people in our lives to help guide us.
Lastly, be compassionate with yourself. We are our biggest critics and we have to learn to love ourselves today, regardless of where we are and what we have or have not accomplished. The majority of successful adults went through hills and valleys, twists and turns, along the way. Life is rarely linear and
Remember at the end of the day it’s YOUR life and planning how to achieve what you want is up to you. You are in control of your own happiness and life. You will find the right path for you. Breath and enjoy!